And God spoke: "I am Capitalism, the Lord thy God who brought thee out of the Economic oppression of Governmental Regulation, and released thee from the competitive pressures of Free Enterprise. These are my Commandments!
I - am Capitalism! Thou shalt have no other god or gods, including any religion of any kind, that is permitted to come before Me and the Economy.
II - Thou must work with all thy might for the Economy; no matter how little thy pay may be, or even if there is NO pay, and no matter what the conditions are, thou must work with all thy heart, and all thy soul and for all thy life! Hard labor shall be thy propitiating curse for the sin thou committed with an Apple in the garden!
III - Thou shalt not speak ill of thy employer, for thy employer shall not hold him employed, he that speaketh ill of him. Even if thy employer should refuse to honor his promises, thou may only praise him and not use his name in vain.
IV - Six days shalt thou labour for the Economy and do thy employer’s work. But the seventh day is MY Holy, Sacred Sabbath Day. Then thou shall spendeth thy entire day and all thy money, and supporteth a football team, or a basketball team, or a baseball team, or a hockey team, or a soccer team either by attending all day in person, or by subscribing to special channels and watching for the entirety of My Sabbath Day!
V - Thy shalt honor thy employer and thy boss, that thy term of employment in the Economy may be extended as long as they find thy work acceptable. Then thou shall be cast into the streets to squirm out thy days.
VI - Thou shalt not kill; that is a privilege reserved only to thy employer.
VII - Adultery is only permissible if thy employer does it to you, then thou must be grateful for his great gift!
VIII - Thou shalt not steal, no matter how low thy pay may fall nor how high prices may rise.
IX - Thou shalt not bear any kind of witness, false or otherwise, or make any judicial or legal statement against, or even about thy employer.
X - Thou shalt not covet thy employer’s position, nor his pay, nor his working conditions, nor his prerogatives, nor his asses, nor his asses' assistants, nor any thing else that is thy employer’s.
